Brexit & Throwback Thursday!

Once upon a time there was a swampy island where 50% of the people had barely enough to survive: just the clothes on their back, gruel for the one meal a day, some shelter. In a nutshell, life was Dickensian. Desperate merchants begged the queen for a royal charter to go trade with that jewel of the east, India. In 1609, William Hawkins arrived in the court of emperor Jahangir with the gift of a bolt of broadcloth. Broadcloth, yes. In a Mughal court awash with silks and jewels. A lesser man might have quailed but the English were canny grocers who recognized a great bargain: with nothing to lose, save broadcloth, there was everything to be gained.

Over the next 350 odd years, with their presence never exceeding 100,000, the English were able to control the Indian subcontinent with one sole aim: to loot it. Of course, they had local help in this enterprise from like-minded Indian grocer type Jagat Seths and traitors such as Mir Jafar. That loot enabled little England to become Great Britain.

Cut to present. Britain is part of the EU, which means other white folks from all over Europe can find their way to the island and undercut the resident white English. Immigrants, you see, are always hungry - remember William Hawkins and his merchants? Yesterday, June 23, 2016, the English cried their way out of union with EU. Yes sir, we are drawing up the bridge and talking to you no more. We are reclaiming our old days of glory. Throwback Thursday, for sure!

Except, as your great poet - the prefix is justified in this case - Tennyson said: the old order changeth yielding place to new. You may want to return to the swampy isle of 1600 Tudors but there ain't no jewel waiting to be looted. You see, India is still struggling from being looted over 350 years. And we are still compiling the rather extensive list of reparations. Meanwhile, you'll realise soon, what with the pound plunging, the Kohinoor will only take you so far. Don't despair - may I suggest the cuppa that cheers? So English, right? But hurry up, my dears. The Chinese are expected any moment with their reparations list. There, there …