I tried to watch the Rahul Gandhi interview with Arnab Goswami of Times Now, I really did. However, instead of Frankly Speaking, I found Brazenly Waffling. He answers a question with a question; does more hoops than a jalebi; rants about a childhood from hell, even though it sounds suspiciously like the plot of a Manmohan Desai film; claims he is Arjuna from Mahabharat, blind to all but his goal, but pray, wasn’t Dhritarashtra the blind King blinded by his love for his sons -- all this prattle and mixing up of attributes of mythological figures is rendering me to inchoate, like the blind King on stage in ‘Jaane Bhi Do Yaaro’, Ye sab kya ho raha hai?
Or, as we say in Punjabi, Hain ji?!
To add to my watching woes, Arnab decides to behave impeccably, refusing me the opportunity for more Bollywood dialoguebaazi: Shaant, gadhadhari Bheem, shant!
And if you are bent upon lying through those pearlies, Rahul baba, know that there is stiff competition - the average Indian politician will tell you, Jhoot tere akele ka nahi, hum sab shareholder hain.
As for drama, you ain’t no good. All the differences you were attempting to point out between 1984 riots and Gujarat riots, how you were a child then, and yet you remember the Government did everything to stop the riots ... Now Rahul, such a poor rendition of Lady Macbeth! That’s why the classics are classics - you don’t need to mess with them. All you needed was to quote Shakespeare, specifically from Macbeth, Act 5, Scene 1, Page 2:
Out, damned spot! Out, I say! What! Will this hand ne’er be clean? All the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this bloody hand. Oh! Oh! Oh!